Deeper Within

Can you think of a time where you felt that you knew you had the power to make things happen, but you were just stuck? Where it felt as though you were fighting against yourself.

I began to realize that if you don’t give yourself time to just be, you really are not listening to your inner self. So, I recently decided to try this thing called “meditation”, and embarked on the 21-Day Meditation Experience with Oprah & Deepak.

First of all, the thought of meditation and my mind don’t really go together, however that is exactly where I figured out what my problem is: that is where “being stuck” is happening for me.

Let’s just say it is a good thing Oprah and Deepak give you three days to listen to each recording, because it takes me three days to calm my mind down.

I knew for me I would have to schedule my meditation sessions. At first this seems so wrong, I have to schedule quiet time with myself! But I did, and it worked. I set my alarm for as early as I can handle on certain days. I know I go to bed early I am awake at 4:30, other mornings maybe 5:30 am. I listen before I fall asleep, and then again after I wake up.

In the very beginning I couldn’t see anything changing, I didn’t even know if I was really mediating. I kept waiting for something to happen, was God supposed to come down and take me to the light? Although other voices tried to discourage me, I kept on with it. 

So, what started to change? I started to react to situations differently. I felt more at peace and did not try so hard to make things happen. Wait, I think that might be the biggest “Aha” moment right there. I was trying so hard to be successful, looking through the eyes of others to try to figure myself out.

I know what I am most passionate about, but what is it that I really want? What would make me most happy? How do I get it? Answers to those questions are just now starting to reveal themselves through meditation. I just need to be still and quiet my mind to hear them.

Meditation is helping me listen to my inner voice. What is it saying? Is it congruent with the outside world? Is there conflict? I’ve realized that all these things are the things that help you make better decisions.

I’ve discovered that some days are better than others. I try to sit still and keep my mind quiet and use the mantra, however, seconds later I am off trying to solve the day’s issues and can’t remember that mantra to save my life! That’s when I take a minute to breathe and quiet my mind. I have learned to be nicer to myself through the process and give myself time to go back and try again.

WOW, awareness is a wonderful thing. I just love finding out more about how I operate!